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Magnanimous

from Wildness & Artifice by Unwoman

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about

Written in July 2000

lyrics

Knowledge Scars

Such a lovely fall from grace
Such a pretty tearful face
Silence rules falsely empty hearts
In this fevered, cold embrace

Intuition's wrong, though dreams implore so strongly
Upon these wings of fire no other has desired so
Could my hope be killed within another sin, oh
I'd touch your soul again but pretense wears so thin, within

If only I could wait; if only I could have faith
In love -- in love -- like yesterday
Then along you come, so cool, emotionless
And I can only open my arms, close my eyes, and wait

Knowledge scars with twisted limbs
Always given, given in
Torn by vapid lust
Deny our broken trust.
(July 1997, November 1998)

Lament For Peter Pan

Sweet unrest grows sour -- striving, excruciating
yet wanting so badly to atone...
"Go, then and scorn fidelity. Guilt will follow."

This tightrope I walk slices through my feet as the are clay
As if I were meant to fall into both sides of sorrows (so grave, so deep)
To be forced by guile and guilt which so manipulate
For I have paid in insincerity for my small mistakes

I fear the imminent gravity of aborted wishes
I have seen before through eyes like his
I know the pain separation gives
And he hasn't yet learned
Forever never means forever....anymore, anymore, anymore...did it ever?

This is for washing the sorrows away
From these feet like clay...

The rope now gives way, and I know where I stand
He's within, without, and so very over
Like a sweet, sweet dream into which I'll never step again, anymore...
(But there are other dreams, oh yes)

* Well in the night I dream about you
In the day I find no rest
Just the thought of you, my darling
Sends aching pains all through my chest

Days grow longer and enamored with the spring
Longer now I watch your face, blue in the silent dusk
But how long will hopes remain inside, entombed, beseeching us
And how long till your faraway eyes will reach for me
Will they ever reach again?
Do I hold no mystery? (anymore...)
And how can we romanticize
Once those burning eyes
Have wrapped around my flesh, so consuming my enigma
Is there nothing left?
anymore, anymore, anymore...

This remorse will never disappear
While he refuses to dry his tears
Our guilty hands never rinse clear
So we remain blind in fear -- and never love

* Well, when I'm dead and in my coffin
With my feet turned toward the sun
Come and sit beside me, darling,
Come and think on the way you've done

* from folk song, "East Virginia," not included in Knowledge Scars version

(Peter Pan Waltz, originally part of "Lament for Peter Pan")

Oh never again to be swept off my feet, nevermore nevermore nevermore
And never again know the hope so sweet, nevermore..
But "nevermore?" I've said it before, nevermore...
And always the same find the lies, all the blame lies within, evermore, evermore
But you taught me to hate this slow loss of emotion, this motion toward death, toward stillness,
The oceans of blood from your lips as you let out the pain;
I feel mine in your words till we've both been drained
Though ever I grow colder, my hopes never wane to leave me so alone
Alone in my dreams forgetful of these, my first silver idols
But electric as daydreams are still, I fear I'll watch you grow ever duller
If you ever let me touch you, if my mind gets any fuller with time
If I see through your words to a heart frail as mine, delicate as ice in April
For only the truly unreachable can still hold fascination for such as we
Only the truly unreachable can still fascinate me
anymore, anymore, anymore, anymore....
(January-February 1998)

The Little Mermaid

"Are you not fonder of me than of all the rest?" cried her eyes
"Yes, you are dearest of all to me -- you, the silent one; if not no one, then you."

But then he speaks of her -- the unknown, a false angel.
The mermaid chokes in fear, but still she hopes...

How can you want something more than me? I give my life for yours, sacrifice my voice
Only in hope, a thousand knives each step, that I may share your soul
Oh, if only I could sing, or if this heart had wings, I would be your angel.

Word travels fast, soon despair comes crashing, crashing down
Only blood and sisters' love can save her life now.
A thousand knives. She dances into death that night.
The sea so cold, black, unyielding.
A promise to fall. So only murder can save her now, but what's the use
Her love is gone either way, so why fight?

How can you want more than me? I rewrote my future in foam for you
I gave my life to see this through and am betrayed. And disintegrate. Oooh...

Oh -- Why must true illusion, not love, conquer all?
(April 1998)

Magnanimous (For J.D.M)

This house is now barren and cold
Where once it was scented, overgrown
So glad to be leaving this misery
Silence, eternal sterility

Someone said, "You want to think you are good"
No: I don't care what I think

When most people would rather hate than communicate
You are different, you have something to say, now

But now you're so far away
In word and body, what can I say?
Could you understand my desperation
Magnanimous you, understand my attention
Unwanted as it was

Hope is necessary, just like trust
In every situation I find myself
Grasping for some connection, anything, something like community
But most people would rather hate than communicate
You are different; you care what I have to say

But now you're so far away
In word and body, what can I say
Could you understand my anger at them
Magnanimous you, understand my reaction
Irrational as it was

Now you're so far away
In word and body, what can I say
What can I say that will sound the same
On the other side of the electronic divide

credits

from Wildness & Artifice, released July 5, 2005

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Unwoman San Francisco

Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Unwoman is a self-produced cellist-singer-songwriter. Layered with skillful cello, rich vocals, and electronically arranged beats, her solo music is a futuristic homage to her classical training. Unwoman has been featured at steampunk, goth, and sci-fi-related events all over North America and has collaborated with many notable acts. ... more

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