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Loud and Clear

from The Keys by Unwoman

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about

Written in March 2008. This is the "Take the Music and Run" mix -- originally intended for a so-called pro-artist-rights compilation -- that never came out. And the person putting it together stopped writing back to me! Here's the essay I composed about the song.

My contribution, "Loud and Clear," came out of utter frustration at
having spent years honing my skills but still being unable to draw a
crowd in my hometown. It was also about the critical voice in my head,
which wanted to dismiss everything I did unless I got massive external
validation for it. But in the song I recognize that I can kill that
voice. Though I know people aren’t cheering for me, I will no longer
wait for anyone else to tell me what I do is worthwhile. Though I have
to put precious time and money into it, though it’s not easy and no one
is here to be my saviour, I’m driven to pursue it anyway.

This song, "Loud and Clear," was the result of feeling like giving up
pursuing music. It was extremely discouraging to realize that I'd been
performing well and constantly writing and honing my skills, and still
couldn't draw a crowd to see me to save my life. But the essential
message is a positive one to artists about ignoring critics --
especially internal critics. Saying, I get it people, you're not giving
me any encouragement ("the absence of your cheers") -- but it doesn't
matter, because I do it for its own sake and because it defines who I
am.

lyrics

I only wanted to make something better than myself
I never resisted being criticized
No I listened to everything anyone has said
But some things are not meant to be analyzed

Chorus:
It's all over now
I've grown so tired of listening to all the doubt
The fear so consuming I will never get out
I still have the choice
To ignore that voice inside my head that says
Whatever I do, it's not success --
I've had enough of this!

With every glance new cracks, new flaws are exposed
We all carry a thousand mistakes
But you know someday this pandora's box will be closed
Until then, I'll do whatever it takes

I look to the past and the future to come
Relying on daydreams that I might have won
One day...

(chorus)

I'm too soft, I'm too hard
I'm too brave, I'm too scared
I'm trivial, I'm serious
Is anyone even hearing this?

I hear the absence of your cheers
Loud and clear, loud and clear...

credits

from The Keys, released October 22, 2009
Unwoman: everything

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Unwoman San Francisco

Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Unwoman is a self-produced cellist-singer-songwriter. Layered with skillful cello, rich vocals, and electronically arranged beats, her solo music is a futuristic homage to her classical training. Unwoman has been featured at steampunk, goth, and sci-fi-related events all over North America and has collaborated with many notable acts. ... more

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