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Lament For Peter Pan

from Infinitesimal by Unwoman

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  • USB Flash Drive + Digital Album

    Crystal USB with red LED and 8GB capacity. Shiny clear acrylic & brushed steel, laser-etched with Unwoman logos. Contains 24+ hours of Unwoman's music including Desire Paths, Uncovered thru Volume 7, Selected Songpoems, both regular & instrumental versions of four original albums, several other original and covers albums & EPs including Everything Is Awesome and Snuggle, the dark-ambient EP IDTWS, and bonus tracks not available anywhere else. Does not contain the newest subscription-only songs or anything that was up temporarily on bandcamp.

    Files are very high quality 320 kbps mp3s. If you would prefer FLAC files, please purchase my complete discography on here and arrange to pay $12 + shipping for the USB -- write orders@unmediated.net

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about

5. Lament For Peter Pan: this uses a Goethe quote, an American folksong, a progression by my first gothic lover, and a stolen theme from an unknown folksinger in Santa Cruz. Composed January 1998. Recorded at my house. [There are some pages on this song I'm including in the pdf. A diagram, a bunch of notes, also (not included in pdf) an essay for a high school class. For a long time I considered this my “magnum opus.” I am still proud of it, though there are many things in the song that I would not do now (especially lifting a theme off a busker. That, by the way, is the “anymore, anymore...” etc part in the waltz section. I seriously wish I knew who she was so I could thank her and credit her. What happened was, I heard her singing it and didn't realize until the next day that it was completely stuck in my head.) If you know my album Knowledge Scars you know there's an electronic version of this song minus the folk song and waltz, but I was never really happy with that, I prefer this version except for it not being perfect (story of my life). You may not know that in 2010 I again tried to make a new version of the song. It only appeared on my UK-only best-of album which I never released online and pressed only 150 of. Not perfectly happy with that version either.]

lyrics

Sweet unrest grows sour -- striving, excruciating
yet wanting so badly to atone...
"Go, then and scorn fidelity. Guilt will follow."

This tightrope I walk slices through my feet as the are clay
As if I were meant to fall into both sides of sorrows (so grave, so deep)
To be forced by guile and guilt which so manipulate
For I have paid in insincerity for my small mistakes

I fear the imminent gravity of aborted wishes
I have seen before through eyes like his
I know the pain separation gives
And he hasn't yet learned
Forever never means forever....anymore, anymore, anymore...did it ever?

This is for washing the sorrows away
From these feet like clay...

The rope now gives way, and I know where I stand
He's within, without, and so very over
Like a sweet, sweet dream into which I'll never step again, anymore...
(But there are other dreams, oh yes)

* Well in the night I dream about you
In the day I find no rest
Just the thought of you, my darling
Sends aching pains all through my chest

Days grow longer and enamored with the spring
Longer now I watch your face, blue in the silent dusk
But how long will hopes remain inside, entombed, beseeching us
And how long till your faraway eyes will reach for me
Will they ever reach again?
Do I hold no mystery? (anymore...)
And how can we romanticize
Once those burning eyes
Have wrapped around my flesh, so consuming my enigma
Is there nothing left?
anymore, anymore, anymore...

This remorse will never disappear
While he refuses to dry his tears
Our guilty hands never rinse clear
So we remain blind in fear -- and never love

(Waltz:)
Oh never again to be swept off my feet, nevermore nevermore nevermore
And never again know the hope so sweet, nevermore...

But "nevermore?" I've said it before, nevermore...
And always the same find the lies, all the blame lies within, evermore, evermore

But you taught me to hate this slow loss of emotion, this motion toward death, toward stillness,
The oceans of blood from your lips as you let out the pain
I feel mine in your words till we've both been drained

Though ever I grow colder, my hope never wanes to leave me so alone
Alone in my dreams forgetful of these, my first silver idols

But electric as daydreams are still, I fear I'll watch you grow ever duller
If you ever let me touch you, if my mind gets any fuller with time
If I see through your words to a heart frail as mine, delicate as ice in April

For only the truly unreachable can still hold fascination for such as we
Only the truly unreachable can still fascinate me
anymore, anymore, anymore, anymore....

* Well, when I'm dead and in my coffin
With my feet turned toward the sun
Come and sit beside me, darling,
Come and think on the way you've done

* from folk song, "East Virginia," not included in Knowledge Scars version

credits

from Infinitesimal, released December 20, 1999

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Unwoman San Francisco

Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Unwoman is a self-produced cellist-singer-songwriter. Layered with skillful cello, rich vocals, and electronically arranged beats, her solo music is a futuristic homage to her classical training. Unwoman has been featured at steampunk, goth, and sci-fi-related events all over North America and has collaborated with many notable acts. ... more

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