If I Woke Up In Temescal

from by Unwoman

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lyrics

If I woke up in Temescal more than once
I would have fallen in love
Not with you, but with your neighborhood
Which had already carved itself into memory in realtime
Burned with luminous skin in the late morning sun
And the perilously foreign-yet-familiar feel of someone’s hand in mine
The treacherous ways I was at your command
Gave in completely because I’d found peace, at long last

Is each successive rejection a Russian doll
A little smaller, but really just the same, mocking me
And even though so few of my stars were hung on your tree
I will mourn every loss
I want to tear out your heart in response
But you would have to see what you are missing
And we know you are blind to the charms
I tell myself I still wield
You’ve tacitly declared them invisible

So I punish myself with an overdose of my beloved solitude
I will never know how much pleasure I negate
By setting my body off-limits
It could all just be a delusion
I might truly be as worthless as you clearly found me
At best a lovely and damaged illusion
To those who can’t touch me

If I woke up in Temescal again
I would have written another song about you
And no -- I’ve finally cut you off from the honors you never deserved

If I woke up
If I woke up in your arms again
Nostalgia is the worst drug I’ve ever tried to kick
How close did we ever come?

credits

from The Fires I Started, released August 16, 2012

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Unwoman San Francisco

Unwoman is a San Francisco-based cellist-singer-songwriter. Layered with skillful cello, rich vocals, and electronically arranged beats, her solo music is a futuristic homage to her classical training. Unwoman has been featured at steampunk, goth, and sci-fi-related events all over North America and has performed with Abney Park, Rasputina, Voltaire, Amanda Palmer, Stripmall Architecture... ... more

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