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1. |
If You Know You Know
03:48
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Did you you come to me
To hear songs of peace
Or do you want to know the truth about this world?
It’s bleak sometimes, it’s cold
But there’s one thing I can assure you of:
I’m in the gutter with you!
And we can open our eyes and look at the stars
I’m reaching out my hand to you
Whoever you are!
If you know you know
Life is one big joke
And we laugh at it from the palaces and slums
And we live through it until we don’t
You already know
Life is one big joke
But your nonchalance is just for show
And you’re desperate for any kind of hope
If you know you know
Life is one big joke
And our children stand upon our backs
And we wish they’ll have everything we lack
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2. |
Cultivate
04:08
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I want to dance to the beat
Of someone else’s mind
This body’s too alive
To be kept confined
Am I not allowed to want what I want?
Now I’ve run out of the shame that I was taught
Telling me to settle for just enough
But it’s infinite when I make my own love
And cultivate some beauty
Where there was none but dust and guns
To leave a trail of petals where I’ve gone
To reach beyond what we’ve been shown
To touch the dark but feel the spark
To bring the acolytes of life along
This may be a warning or a treasure map
But it’s not the territory or the fact
Songs are just like candy if you don’t dig deep
Tarantella looking just like ecstasy
(but we can dig deep, we can sing in the dark and still breathe)
So cultivate some beauty
Where there was none but dust and guns
And leave a trail of petals where you’ve gone
And reach beyond what you’ve been shown
To touch the dark to feel the spark
To bring the acolytes of life along
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3. |
Thorns
04:01
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All around the castle the queen once sent men
To dig up the vines that choke and starve the garden
But the prickliest hedges yield the sweetest scent
So she decreed the roses were her protection
“I have every right to be here
And this place is mine alone
If you leave me the gods will keep and feed me:
I will stay on my throne”
Cold and forgotten she remains with just one
Pity or loyalty, or a twisted kind of love
Impassable hedges enclose mossy stone
And rise over towers and block out the sun
Now she declares all the roses were made just for this:
Pick them and strip them, adorn her for worship
Let the thorns grow for the promise of a rose
But roses grew thorns so we wouldn’t disturb the flowers
Command all you want, your beasts men and gods
Green growing things obey only their own laws!
And the pretty ones get to keep their thorns
But the prickly ones have beauty all their own
“I have every right to be here
And this place is mine alone
If you leave me the gods will keep and feed me:
I will stay on my throne”
“Oh curse this broken ground
bones and thorns and dust
who will dig them out —
the histories of us?”
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4. |
Before the King
03:36
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I have appeared at last before the king
And while I still can, I must sing
I sing through smiling lips and pretend
I don’t know it’s the end
I can’t stop this gift of vision
I can’t help but see what’s coming
And I’ve never been given
A faustian bargain
‘Cause no one wants what I’m selling
(Souls are a dime a dozen)
Everything happens
Not for a reason
But it has to happen to someone
I used to have a potion
To quiet the visions
But now even our poison is poisoned
And I was never aspirational
Only living as a cautionary tale
Having to dance and beg on my knees
My only chance at dignity
And to pretend these scraps are enough
To appease the lords above
But of my own space and time I am queen
And while I still can, I must sing
I sing the truth: Death comes for us all
And now she stands in your great hall!
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5. |
The Ones Who Walk Away
05:20
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Bright-towered by the sea
Can you see the city now?
Horses and children in procession
Laughter and music fill the air
No king or knights, no guns or bombs
And no guilt, only joy
There are some who walk away alone
Into the unknown
If you accept this city, this bliss
That’s the end, don’t read any further
But if you are one of those
Who thinks happiness dull or impossible
Then they torture a child for you
And because they torture that child
Some must walk away alone
Into the unknown
I was one of them
I gave up security and sunlight
The comforting knowledge that
My child will never be the one sacrificed
I walked away to build something unimaginable
Into the unknown
There are some who walk away alone
Into the unknown
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6. |
Atypical Girl
03:59
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We walk hooded
Blinkered by mirrors
In separate voids
Convinced we are lone sorcerers
[And that knowledge is power]
Old tongues cluck remonstrance
We’re such bad bitches
Yet it’s permitted
So we are toothless
Yes we bite the hand that plans to be bitten
A rising demographic of nasty little women
So don’t give me that line that I’m somehow better
I am a typical girl we’re all in this together
Atypical girls create, rebel
Take no shit and give ’em hell
Lean in, fearlessly
Their bodies offer no apology
The male gaze can’t touch
They've overcome so much
Atypical girls wear their damage
Like Girl Scout badges
Atypical girls are typical girls now
A rising demographic of nasty little women
[Feeding the system]
So don’t give me that line that I’m somehow better
I am a typical girl we’re all in this together
I don’t deserve more because I seem to demand it
Take your reluctant respect and shove it
Maybe it’s OK to be fragile
Maybe it’s OK to be helpless
Maybe we don’t each need to be the strongest
Maybe we’re all just basic witches
(And maybe that’s OK)
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7. |
A Song Is Just a Song
04:36
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This world is filthy and full of shit
Yet I've been told to stay clean
This world is dangerous and wants me dead
Though I was promised safety
When I was young I was taught my job was
To make this world a beautiful place
But what can one person do besides
Planting flowers on top of heaps of toxic waste?
A song is just a song, it won’t help to turn the soil
Unless it’s sung while digging
And these bards and I are still
Singing on behalf of The Revolution
Because it’s something we can sell you on
Without sullying our delicate hands
[Resistance will always be sexy, that part is easy
And it’s our bread and butter
In this, the golden age of circuses]
Yes this world is dangerous and wants to kill you
But you should survive anyway, live to fight another day
Because it’s your job to make this a beautiful place
To spread the lie that we can be safe
A song is just a song, and it doesn’t bring upheaval
Unless it’s the gravedigger’s hymn
A story about utopia is still just a story
Unless we write it in blood
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8. |
When We Were Young
04:04
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When we were young
Every chord, every phrase was precious
We didn’t know when the next one would come
When we were young
Every kiss every touch was sacred
We didn’t know whom the next would be from
But we sang the night away
We sang right into the day
We sang all our hopes out though
We had nothing new to say
We thought we made it up
Believed we invented love
We tried to capture it in rhyme
Like every poet has done
When they were young
When we were young
We kept notes on each other’s potential
Anticipating such music to come
When we were young
There was nothing we couldn’t accomplish
Once all the promise of our song was sung
What are we learning
What is our place in the world
Will we be children forever
Singing forever?
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9. |
Black Flowers
04:52
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Black flowers in my hair
(As I walk the streets of memory)
I replay two figures moving through winter’s air
(The sweetest place I’ll ever be)
We drink in the back room of the bar across the street
(Now I walk the streets of memory)
Like I don’t know it’s the last time we will meet here
(The only place I want to be)
I did not think I’d find it in dive bars or swingsets
But now it’s gone, maybe that’s where I left it
[I didn’t think I found what I was looking for in dive bars or swingsets after dark
But now they’re gone I know I’m missing something — is it just the seeking of a chance to seek a spark?]
I had always hoped love would be the answer
Where is my contentment ever after?
Black flowers, black flowers on the ground
(As I walk the streets of memory)
I cherish them much more now: the lost and found
(The sweetest place I’ll ever be)
Boards cover up the windows of that old dive
(Now I walk the streets of memory)
Timelessly in my mind we all survive
(The only place I want to be)
I pound my boots over the little hill we once stepped
So I never lose this place in my head
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10. |
The Waves
05:16
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These days are gonna leave a mark
Just to survive is a heavy task
It’s a big big thing, this change
We can’t see where it’s gonna lead
Wake me up
Every ugly day
Oooh I lie in the sand
And the waves pour over me
Oooh I don’t leave a trace
All my words have washed away
I’m learning to resist longing
Just to touch a friendly hand
To sit on the grass with somebody else near
To dance close to a stranger
To sit at the bar and hear a tale of adventure
(we used to — remember?)
To plan my own like I have a future
Dream for me
(I’m going nowhere — now and here)
Of a better time
Oooh I lie in the sand
Let the pain wash over me
Oooh it’s a sacred thing
To be scarred by history
I swear I am OK
I only mean I don’t want sympathy
I won’t ask you if I’m still enough when I’m useless
Hitting bottom yet again
I’m still here and now
There was a better time someday
Oooh I lie in the sand
And the waves pour over me
Oooh I don’t leave a trace
All my words have washed away
Oooh I lie in the sand
Let the pain wash over me
Oooh it’s a sacred thing
To be scarred by history
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11. |
Oblivion and Creation
04:21
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There are no good and evil
But on my shoulders sit two angels
Oblivion and creation
Someone will approve
Either way I choose
Oblivion or creation
And I flatter myself
This brinksmanship
Is a way to touch the infinite
A delightful delusion
Though meaningless
We still have our aesthetics
I trace the labyrinth
To find my own voice
And it rings out: hollow
Could I just disappear?
Once I thought I’d have it all
Now I stand outside this person's work
And weep at its insignificance
When will I meet that timeless self again
Wise and uncaring in Oblivion?
The pull or the drive
The war in my mind
Oblivion and creation
Is the divine right
To shape the rubble mine
Indulge myself in creation
I don’t want to write another verse
There was never any truth in words
So I peel back the layers
To find my center — it was never there
Should I just disappear?
Once I thought I’d have it all
Now I stand outside that person's work
And weep at its insignificance
When will I be egoless at last
Undriven by creation?
…Careless in oblivion
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12. |
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The High Priestess or the Beast in me
I am sworn to secrecy
We could just decide to insist upon happiness
But the farther we are from it the harder to chase
It is now time to put down the master’s tools of loss
Walk with me and stoke our flames or just observe the chaos
The High Priestess or the Beast in me
Responds to tragedy
The High Priestess or the Beast in me
In rising clarity
If this life causes you to doubt what you should believe
Ride with me to find the secrets now millennia buried
We ride till we piss ourselves and then we ride some more
When our horses tire we sleep on the forest floor
The High Priestess or the Beast in me
I once swore secrecy
The High Priestess or the Beast in me
In each hand a different key
(So we dig softly through the worms
Creation takes many forms)
NOTHING --
AND SOMETHING FROM IT!
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13. |
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[Words by Emily Dickinson]
If you were coming in the Fall,
I'd brush the Summer by
With half a smile, and half a spurn,
As Housewives do, a Fly.
If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls---
And put them each in separate Drawers,
For fear the numbers fuse---
If only Centuries, delayed,
I'd count them on my Hand,
Subtracting, til my fingers dropped
Into Van Dieman's Land,
If certain, when this life was out---
That yours and mine, should be
I'd toss it yonder, like a Rind,
And take Eternity---
But, now, uncertain of the length
Of this, that is between,
It goads me, like the Goblin Bee---
That will not state--- its sting
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14. |
Home
03:57
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In my youth I preferred love that fed on distance
I was connoisseur of such bad boy kisses
Whenever four walls stood around me it felt like a cage
And I would bite my own leg off to escape
And kill every jailer — I didn’t need a savior but I fought to free myself
And now I run run run into your arms
Oh how I wish these walls will become our home
I could never have one until
I had someone with which to build
Who would set me freer than I ever did
I was careless who I pretended to be
And every change I made betrayed some past version of me
But if each self I choose is some kind of charlatan
I may as well pick the kind worthy of your devotion
We’re far from perfection
But yes we can rest with
Constant companions
And all of their blessings
And I needn’t run away anymore
Now I just run run run into your arms
Oh how I know these walls have become our home
I could never have one until
I had someone with which to build
Who would set me freer than I ever did
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15. |
Hearts
05:40
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[Words by Nikki Stein]
Women on the walls,
women in novels—freeze me
kissing fabric, freeze me among flowers
that are not in season.
You trace my spine and tell me
that this is what it would be like
to have the Nile running through my blood;
you look me in the eye and say
that my veins are the remnants
of great civilizations
flooded by angry gods.
My collarbone is at odds with your lips, and I’ve
had total war raged on my hips, and I’ve
read plenty of books about love,
but none of them ended like this:
the hollow of my throat pillaged and bruised,
a hundred thousand skin cells lost
to the greater good, a city of romantics subdued
in their little homes of shattered bone,
and crescent moon scars that wax and wane
in hot water—
Women who drink hot water
to feel the weight of warmth
on the first morning of the third winter;
sometimes I play a game from the window seat:
how many passerby
show signs of having cried,
and bowing their heads
try not to take the storm personally.
The East Coast
is no permanent address
for lovers craving boiling blood.
Think of all the things that have hearts
but don’t cry;
think of all the things that have hearts
that yield to knives;
think of all the things
that don’t attribute worlds
to their hearts.
Think of all the things that have hearts
and go their whole lives
without even knowing it.
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16. |
Autumn
07:02
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We recline on the ground in the orchard at dusk
Fruit falls, already fermented
We are drunk and sated
We share with the fat worms who will eat us -- later
We need never work again
There is pleasure and song now
And this intoxicating harvest
And winter so long we’ll never see Spring again
—Soon Winter so long we will never see Spring again
Wrap me in deep velvet
Let me smell the decay on your breath
As we consummate this futureless lust
As we sink slowly into the earth
Do we desire a sturdy coffin for two
Or to let scavengers clean our bones?
Any way we decompose will be so beautiful
Nothing is ugly, in the Fall
Flowers faded long ago and we still love them
Let others remember us
With all our sorrows and decadence
As shamelessly and without regret
We dissolve
(We need never work again
There is pleasure and song now
Forever)
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Unwoman San Francisco
Based in the San Francisco Bay Area, Unwoman is a self-produced cellist-singer-songwriter. Layered with skillful cello, rich vocals, and electronically arranged beats, her solo music is a futuristic homage to her classical training. Unwoman has been featured at steampunk, goth, and sci-fi-related events all over North America and has collaborated with many notable acts. ... more
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